Relationships – How to Have an Extraordinary Marriage

Marriage can be the most incredible, fantastic, trusting, relationship of your life.  Unfortunately, for many people, marriage is a nightmare in a long dark night.   Wherever your marriage may be today, there is hope.  Hope to re-kindle that spark of love.  If your marriage is already awesome, get ready to take it to a higher level you didnt know existed.

For the next few moments, we are going to explore some simple things we can do to spark up our marriage.  They are simple steps, but not always easy.   I encourage you to grab hold of your courage and step forward into a new wonderful life with your mate.

 

1.     MEN LOVE YOUR WIVES MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF:

Men,we have to be willing to die for that special lady in each of our lives. Put her needs before your own.  Cherish her.  Honor her. Give her a lift every day.  She is special.  Show her how special she is to you.

But doesn’t the Bible talk about that the man is the head of the household?  Yes, it does.  However, that verse has been taken out of context for long enough.  What does it really mean?  I have never heard anyone explain this any better then Reverend Ed Nelson.  He explained this one time to me.  He explained it something like this, “Think of the man as the head or mouth of a river.  What is the mouth of the rivers job?  To nourish the river.  To feed the river. The man is the head of the family, which means the man has to be the leader of servanthood.  The man has to out serve his wife.  The man has to out serve his family.  The man nourishes the family.” Wow!  Men, are you out serving your wife?  Are you nourishing your family?  Men, we are the servant leaders.  We need to serve our families.

 

2.  WIVES LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR HUSBANDS:

Alright ladies, what does this mean?  It means you need to support your husbands.  Make him feel good about who he is and what he does.  The male ego does need stroking often.  It also means let him lead.  Leadership is about influence.  The Good Book says the man is the head of the household. “What are you talking about Mark, caveman stuff?”  Of course not.  Husbands and wives should make decisions together.  It is a team effort.  A 100% / 100% team.  Try to take the emotions out of the decision.  If one of you believes you are led with the answer then share it with the other.  If you still can’t come to agreement then I believe that the impasse falls on the man’s shoulders.  Someone has to make the final decision.  I believe God has placed this BURDEN on the man.  And I do mean burden.  Men this will not be a fun decision.  It is not about power.  Ladies, please understand this burden on your husband.  Please support him and stand united with him.  Sometimes he will be right.  Sometimes he will be wrong.  This is when he really needs your love, support, and understanding.  I know this may not be popular with everyone; however, this is how you can handle decision impasses without creating World War III in your home.  REMEMBER MEN:  It is not about power.  It is about servant leadership through love.

 

3.  MEN HELP OUT AT HOME:

Some of you women are probably saying, “Amen!  Preach it brother.”  She is right men.  Many of us do not help out enough.  If you come home and expect to be served all night then you are NOT living up to your responsibilities.  Here are a few helpful suggestions:

A.  Surprise her with dinner on the table when she gets home (Ladies, if he burns the meal, still brag over his effort).

B.  Help out with the children.

C.  Do some of those “chores” around the house you have been putting off.

D.  Watch a television show she wants to watch.

 

4.  LISTEN:

The best way to show understanding is to listen to someone.  Many times, our spouses just need to be heard.  Don’t always try to come up with solutions or fix the situation.  Many times, they just need us to hear them

5.  WOMEN HELP HIM KNOW THAT YOU TRUST HIM: 

 

Men need to feel and hear your support.

 

6.  WOMEN ENCOURAGE HIM WHEN HE ATTEMPTS TO HELP YOU:

Tell and show him that you appreciate his help.  If you want a good behavior to be repeated then it needs to be affirmed.  If he doesn’t do things exactly as you would do it then just remind yourself that different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong.   Different is OK.  Help him know he doesn’t have to be perfect or do things just like you.

 

7.  CUDDLE ON THE COUCH OR TAKE A WALK TOGETHER

 

8.  PRAY TOGETHER EVERYDAY:

Ed Cole, the author of Maximized Manhood, says that when we pray we build intimacy with the One to whom we pray (God), with whom we pray (for example our spouse), and for whom we pray.

 

9.  STUDY THE BIBLE TOGETHER REGULARLY:

I dont know what your religious beliefs are today.  But, I do know what works for me.  I am a Christian and this strategy for successful living really works for me.   I recommend private study time in the Bible everyday.  If you and your spouse can read the Bible together everyday then that would be great too.  At least get into the Book consistently with each other.  Give it a try!

 

10.  HAVE A DATE NIGHT:

 

Every couple no matter how long they have been married needs to spend time alone just the two of them.  A date night is a great way to do this.  One date, your spouse decides what you are going to do. The next date you decide.  I recommend having a date night at least twice a month.  Have one every week if possible.  Enjoy yourselves. Court each other all over again.

 

11.  HAVE A WEEKEND GETAWAY JUST THE TWO OF YOU:

I suggest two or three times a year to go off by yourselves.  Make arrangements for the children to stay with their grandparents, friends, etc and spend time alone as husband and wife.  Enjoy yourselves! Have fun!  Enjoy each other’s company!

My friend, I am convinced that if you put into action these 11 steps then you are going to have a fantastic marriage.  If you already have a good marriage then go for an extraordinary marriage.

Posted in Personal Development.